What Not to Do When Going Through a Divorce

Hands of caucasian female who is about to taking off her wedding ring. Divorce papers are in front of her waiting to be signed. Concept for What Not to Do When Going Through a Divorce.

The divorce process isn’t easy — there are many legal, financial, and practical details that must be sorted out before the judge can issue your final decree. While tensions often run high during this time, it’s important to avoid doing anything that could potentially harm your case or your emotional health. Here are ten things you shouldn’t do when you are going through a divorce:

1. Don’t Try to Handle Your Case Alone

Even if your divorce is uncontested and you and your spouse agree on all the matters that must be decided, you shouldn’t try to handle your case alone. Divorce can quickly become complex, and you may have legal and financial rights that you are not aware of. It’s best to have an experienced attorney by your side who can help ensure your interests are protected and the legal process runs smoothly.

2. Don’t Hide Your Assets

When you are going through a divorce, full financial disclosure must be made on both sides. Utah is an equitable distribution state, which means that marital property and assets are divided between spouses in a way that is deemed fair. Don’t try to hide assets to prevent your spouse from getting their share of the marital property. Not only is this illegal, but it can also result in your spouse being awarded a greater share than they would have been otherwise.

3. Don’t Post About Your Divorce on Social Media

Many people use social media to post about life events. However, you should be careful when it comes to posting about your divorce — or anything that could impact your case. Even if you think your account is set to private, your posts may still be found by your spouse and their attorney. If you actively use social media, you might consider deactivating your account until your divorce is finalized.

4. Don’t Involve Your Children

The best interests of your children should always come first when you are going through a divorce and you should not involve your children in the process. Don’t use your children as messengers, speak badly about their other parent in front of them, or allow them to see any conflict between you. If you and your spouse are contentious, you should consider using a custody app to communicate. Your children should be encouraged to spend quality time with both their parents and develop a strong emotional bond with each of them.

5. Don’t Refuse to Get the Emotional Support You Need

The end of a marriage can come with a wide range of emotions, including grief, anger, guilt, loneliness, and depression. Your mental and emotional health should be a priority when you are going through a divorce. Whether it’s joining a support group, talking with friends or family, or seeing a therapist, finding the emotional support you need can help you manage stress as you navigate divorce and rebuild your life.

6. Don’t Compare Your Divorce with Anyone Else’s

You may know other people who have gone through divorce — and they may try to offer their input regarding your case. However, it’s important that you don’t take advice from anyone other than your attorney. Every divorce has different facts and circumstances. The results of one case cannot be compared with the outcome of another.

7. Don’t Expect to Get Everything

No matter how angry you are at your spouse, it’s vital to be aware that compromise is key when going through a divorce. When you’re dividing your property and assets, you can’t expect to get everything. Courts don’t focus on marital fault when determining how assets are divided. Rather, judges focus on dividing property fairly and ensuring both spouses maintain a lifestyle after divorce that is similar to the one they had while married. If there are certain marital assets you would like to keep, you might have to consider giving up something else.

8. Don’t Dismiss the Idea of Mediation to Resolve Your Case

Litigation can be time-consuming and costly. Fortunately, it isn’t the only way a divorce can be resolved. Mediation is a cost-effective, confidential, out-of-court alternative dispute resolution method that can be used to reach a settlement in divorce cases. It can help ensure you and your spouse remain in control of the outcome of your case, rather than let a judge decide things like child custody, property division, and alimony. By using mediation, you can maintain amiability with your former spouse, keep your divorce matters private, and reduce the amount of stress associated with the legal process.

9. Don’t Disobey Court Orders

When the judge issues a ruling, it’s critical that you follow it. Adhering to a court order is not optional, even if you disagree with it. Failing to comply with the divorce decree, refusing to pay child support, disregarding alimony payments, or violating the parenting time agreement can result in your ex filing a motion in court. In such cases, severe sanctions may be imposed for contempt of court, including significant monetary penalties and even jail time in certain cases.

10. Don’t Forget to Take Some Time for Yourself

Don’t forget to take some time for yourself when you’re going through a divorce. Self-care is essential during this time. Maintain a routine, eat healthy, exercise, and make time for the things you enjoy doing. Meditating, walking, or reading a book for a few minutes each day can help you clear your mind and recover from negative thoughts more easily as you build a new foundation.

Contact an Experienced Utah Divorce and Family Law Attorney

Going through a divorce is always hard, but a compassionate and knowledgeable attorney can help to take the burden off your shoulders. Based in Salt Lake City, BartonWood provides skillful counsel to clients who are facing divorce and family law matters. To learn more about our legal services and how we can help in your case, call (801) 326-8300 or contact us to schedule a consultation.